Coming home from work one day I stopped in at the store

Lady next to me in line guess about 84

She looked so sweet and innocent I had to say "Hello and how are you?"

She said " Well dear when you get to my age things start to drooping at this stage

I mean my eyesights not what it used to be so my knitting had to stop you see, and its hard to move with a plastic hip, 

Dr James removed this thing from my lip...

The fluid retention takes it's toll...I mean I really do have bladder control



CHORUS  I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry

sorry I asked how you were doing I was only trying to be polite

Sorry I asked I didn't realise that you would be complaining half the night

I was just making conversation but that was just too much information

Sorry I asked



Running late to catch a plane I stopped to get some food

There behind the counter was a girld I knew in school

I really had no time to spare, still I said "hello and how are you?"

She said "Well Charlene's 5 now and Scott's 13

He's a mongrel child if you know what I mean

If his father would just take control

But the lazy bastard's on the dole

But I love his mullet and his flannelette shirt

And he's good to me cause he lets me work

He and Mum don't see eye to eye, so we're moving out to give his mum a try



CHORUS: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry I asked how you were doing I was really only trying to be polite

Sorry I asked I never realised  that you would be complaining half the night

I was just making conversation that's just too much information

Sorry I asked



My friend knew a guy from work, sent us on a blind date

Said that he was made for me, believed that it was fate

When we met he looked so fine

I had to say "Hello and how are you?"

He said "Well my third wife's taking me to court, she wants the house that my first wife bought

I lost $500 bucks on the TAB, what do you know about declaring bankruptcy

My oldest son is nearly up for parole, the ute runs great but the parts he stole,

And you're not as ugly as I feared

This is the first date I've had since the rash has cleared



I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry I asked how you were doing I was really only trying to be polite

Sorry I asked I never realised that you would be complaining half the night

I was just making conversation that's just too much information

Sorry I asked



"Is this 8 items or less dear?"



"Charlene get back under the counter please not supposed to be at work"



"Are you going to cook me breakfast or what?"