As the snow sprinkles all around
I fill with joy at the sleigh bell sound
This is the most festive time of year
With children full of Christmas cheer
Jingle bells jingle bells, jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to murder kids who've gone astray
Tie them up in a sack, take them to my car
Run them down repeatedly until they scream no more
Take the corpses and begin
To lift them high above with sticks
Bring out the tinsel and the bobbles
Decorations for this Christmas display
So gather round and witness this work of art
One last touch for completion
Time to light this Christmas tree
Lighter fluid and a match
Let them burn
Happy birthday Jesus!