There's one guy I'd like to thank / he signs the checks and leaves them blank / he's the one / he says you don't have to walk a plank / the game is rigged, go fig your / slide show tanked / and your flagship sank / so we're taking all our myths to the bank / so just don't forget who to thank / we're taking our myths to the  / drinking a fifth to the / we're taking all our myths to the bank / if you could just do him this favor / although it might involve child labor / join his entourage / give him a foot massage / from Star Search to the Philharmonic / he'll get you there with Hooked on Phonics / he's the one to know / doesn't matter if you blow – no no / in fact it's just the thing / he thinks we're needing / it's a lukewarm liquid diet / they're force feeding / when the words we use have lost their bite / now they hit you like an imaginary pillow fight / but it's all right / cause you're inside / and you're in tight / deals in commodities of the abstract sort / buys them in bulk but sells them short / talent, genius, love even signs of affection / he floods the market there's no price protection / and when his master plan is unfurled / there stands a handsome bid on the weather systems of the world