Heavy through my body. Pummeled but hopeful. Turn my heart toward Your statutes and not toward selfish gain, turn my eyes away from worthless things (Psalm 119:36-37). The still and silent contender speaks words like bullets punch the air, soft yet with weight enough to run me though. My soul, wait in silence (Psalm 130:5). Now my heart is troubled and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No it was for this very reason that I came (John 12:27). The shadows of the valley, light eclipsed and unseen, yet existenteven inside myself. Do not be afraid only believe. Glory strength never scathed me like that. I'm at a loss for even contemplation. Only awe and the prospect of distant possibilities. But for now, since I cannot see let the Spirit's plea inside my mind (heart) radiate. "Father glorify Your name" (John 12:28). But for now, since I cannot hear (see), let the aching flesh be silent, still, and wait. And I reach my hands underneath the faucet, turned clockwise to its end, and I hold my dirty hands under for a drip.