Once upon a time me and Vudi met 
A major American rock star in a shop 
We were immediately jealous of his hair 
And his fuel-injected sports cock 

He made the usual stupid sexual jokes 
About the way he comes on top 
But I could tell it was a lie 
By the way that he walked 

How did you pass the Presiden'ts Test 
Even if I can't match your ability to compete 
At least give me a chance to cheat 

He said, "Are you losers making fun 
Of our serious vocation? 
You just gotta bring the music to the people man 
And then go score a hole in one." 

The pleasures of a treadmill and the factory 
Took all the innocence from his eyes 
Leaving him to spurt unashamed 
By the size of his dull suprise 

How did you pass the Presiden'ts Test 
I never felt honest telling those virutous lies 
And my toupee always gets into my eyes 

How do you pass the President's Test 
I don't even want to know my score 
I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore 

I said, "The only thing that we're good for 
Is being forgotten." 
And I know you're big enough of a star 
To make sure that the job gets done 

How do you pass the President's Test 
I swear one day they'll build a monument 
To the man with the most reasons for his embarassment 

How do you pass the President's Test 
No I don't even want to know my score 
I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore