Make me an offer I can't refuse, Lord
Give me something I can really use, Lord
Tell me there's no way I can lose, Lord
Show me a miracle or two, Lord

In the name of all that's mighty
Give me love, Aphrodite
Give me God on my side
Give me Mary, Jesus Christ

And the Lord spoke "This is no joke" 
And she said

What kind of woman do you want tonight?
What kind of woman fits your appetite?
What kind of woman have you had in the past
When you laid in the tall leaves of another man's grass?
For Abraham Lincoln, it says "Free the slaves"
For you I see right here, it says "Get him laid"

Lord, let me climb up Jacob's ladder
Or slide down, it doesn't matter
Just show me angels, show me saints
In the flesh, not in paint

In the name of all that's mighty
Give me love, Aphrodite
Give me God on my side
Give me Mary, Jesus Christ

And the Lord spoke "This is no joke" 
And she said

What kind of woman are you looking for?
A woman who is perfect or a woman who is torn?
What kind of woman do you need for your heart?
Do you need a bride of the light or a bride of the dark?
For Moses, it says right here "Part the waves"
For you all, it says "Give you the winning phrase"

And what about asking to be saved?
Why are there no apologies made?
For everything that humans ever craved
Like guns and blood and lust and love and accolades

In the name of all that's mighty
Give me love, Aphrodite
Give me God on my side
Give me Mary, Jesus Christ

In the name of all that's mighty
Give me love, Aphrodite
Give me God on my side
Give me Mary, Jesus Christ

And the Lord spoke "This is no joke"