I dunno what you heard about me,

but you aint getting a Smirnoff for free.

You can sit yourself on my knee.

But keep your hands off my P.I.N.T.



I dunno what you heard about me,

but you aint getting a Smirnoff for free.

You can sit yourself on my knee.

But keep your hands off my P.I.N.T.



Now Sharon, she's in the pub, she's pulling the pints

'N pulling the punters if she thinks the price is right

She's into nuts and gin with slimline tonic

she plucked out her eyebrow 'n drew a line on it

I don't buy her a drink I just get her some pork scratchings,

keep her off my pint cos I think her warts catchin (urgh)

It's pub quiz night n she's bad for my health

She asked me 21 questions and they're all about herself

She likes my hair she likes my car she's in the daily sport

I don't understand a single word cos she comes from York

I'm not that bloke that's only tryin'a get her into bed (nop)…

I'm that bloke that's only tryin cos I'm off my head (yep) 

We can leave now if your starting to get bored,

We'll take the bus home cos my Nova's not insured

Look love its simple if your sitting with me

Sip your drink but don't touch my P.I.N.T



I dunno what you heard about me,

but you aint getting a Smirnoff for free.

You can sit yourself on my knee.

But keep your hands off my P.I.N.T.



bur-bur-bur-bur-burn unitttttttttt

f-i-f-t-y pence that's me,

I work in the burn unit infirmary

NHS pention 'til im sixty three

and you know that im representing Kings Langley..

f-i-f-t-y pence that's me,

I'm a nature loving geezer you can find me in the tree

I'm accidently known and locally accepted

(get off my pint!) 



So now you know about me

Yeah love got my Reebok Classics on, 

I'm bout to show you why my pint hand is quite strong 

You're not wrong if you think I got a lazy eye, 

It's cos I had a mishap with a steak and kidney pie



I down a pint the same way I down a glass of water 

I swear I didn't know this bird was the landlord's daughter

Burn - U - N - I - tizzy

I bumped my head and now I'm feeling dizzy

I've got people in Watford that know how I get down 

Got a bird in Hemel a few mates in town, 

I've got a job in McDonalds and im not messing around

I've got a Big Mac, McFlurry's and a quarter pound-errr 

Just put it on my tab

Pick up a doner at millennium kebab

for closin time

And about the fighting

I've got a beer proof vest to avoid the pinting..pinting..



I dunno what you heard about me,

but you aint getting a Smirnoff for free.

You can sit yourself on my knee.

But keep your hands off my P.I.N.T.



I dunno what you heard about me,

but you aint getting a Smirnoff for free.

You can sit yourself on my knee.

But keep your hands off my P.I.N.T.



Yeah

Now in Hollywood they say there's no business like show business, 

Well in the pub dave said there's no business like the dough business, 

He’s a baker 

See if I talk really fast I sound like a prat

but if you listen real fast I don’t gotta slow down 

Haha yeah