Benny Andersson, Tim Rice, and Bjorn Ulvaeus

ARBITER:

 I've a duty as the referee

 At the start of the match

 On behalf of all our sponsors

 I must welcome you

 Which I do -- there's a catch

 I don't care if you're a champion

 No one messes with me

 I am ruthless in upholding

 What I know is right

 Black or white -- as you'll see

 I'm on the case

 Can't be fooled

 Any objection

 Is overruled

 Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best

 CHORUS:

 He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed

 ARBITER:

 You got your tricks

 Good for you

 But there's no gambit I don't see through

 Oh I'm the Arbiter I know the score

 CHORUS:

 From square one he'll be watching all 64

 ARBITER:

 If you're thinking of the kind of thing

 That we've seen in the past

 Chanting gurus, walkie-talkies,

 Walkouts, hypnotists,

 Tempers, fists -- not so fast

 This is not the start of World War Three

 No political ploys

 I think both your constitutions are terrific so

 Now you know -- be good boys

 I'm on the case

 Can't be fooled

 Any objection

 Is overruled

 Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best

 CHORUS:

 He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed

 ARBITER:

 You got your tricks

 Good for you

 But there's no gambit I don't see through

 Oh I'm the Arbiter I know the score

 CHORUS:

 From square one he'll be watching all 64

 ARBITER:

 Yes I'm the Arbiter I know the score

 CHORUS:

 From square one he'll be watching all 64

 DIPLOMATS:

 No one can deny that these are difficult times...

 It's the U.S. versus U.S.S.R.

 Yet we more or less are --

 No one can deny that these are difficult times...

 -- to our credit putting all that aside

 We have swallowed our pride

 These are dangerous and difficult times...

 It really doesn't matter who comes out

 on top, who gets the chop

 No one's way of life is threatened by a flop --

 But we're gonna smash their bastard

 Make him wanna change his name

 Take him to the cleaners and devastate him

 Wipe him out, humiliate him

 We don't want the whole world saying

 They can't even win a game

 We have never reckoned

 On coming second

 There's no use in losing

 It's the U.S. versus U.S.S.R.

 Yet we more or less are --

 No one can deny that these are difficult times

 -- to our credit putting all that aside

 We have swallowed our pride

 These are very difficult and dangerous times...

 The value of events like this need not be stressed

 When East and West

 Can meet as comrades, ease the tension over drinks

 Through sporting links

 As long as their man sinks

 MERCHANDISERS:

 Whether you are pro or anti

 Or could not care less

 We are here to tell you

 We are here to sell you chess

 Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles

 We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles

 We've a franchise worth exploiting

 And we will -- yes we will!

 When it comes to merchandising

 We could kill

 When you get up --

 When you get up in the morning

 Till you crash at night

 You will have to live your life

 With bishop, rook and knight

 Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste

 Wear our vests

 Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts

 You could even buy a set

 And learn to play

 We don't mind we'll sell you something

 Anyway

 We've done all our market research

 And our findings show

 That this game of chess could be around

 A month or so

 Maybe it's a bit confusing

 For a game

 But Rubik's Cubes were much the same

 In the end the whole world bought one

 All were gone

 By which time we merchandisers

 Had moved on

 By which time we had moved on!

 ARBITER:

 I'm on the case, can't be fooled

 Any objection is overruled

 Don't try to tempt me -- you've no hope

 I don't like women, I don't take dope

 I'm the Arbiter I know the score

 CHORUS:

 From square one he'll be watching all 64

 ARBITER:

 You got your tricks -- good for you

 But there is no gambit I don't see through

 I'm the Arbiter and I know best

 CHORUS:

 He's impartial don't push him he's unimpressed

 ARBITER:

 I'm the Arbiter my word is law

 CHORUS:

 From square one he'll be watching you...

 EVERYONE (except the players and seconds):

 Don't you find it rather touching to behold

 The game that came in from the cold

 Seen for what it is -- religion plus finesse

 Countries, classes, creeds, as one in

 Love of chess