One night some friends and I went out to have us a couple of rounds
When who should appear there at the bar but the drunkard of the town
He came through the door with a rush and a roar drinking more than the bar could bring.
Then he ordered up another and another and another and he began to sing:

''Why do I drink, oh, why do I drink? you ask me once again
Well, if I didn't drink then how could I stand the drunkard that I am?''

The Lord takes care of fools and drunks, he said with a smiling face
And I might not be a fool you see so I'm trying to play it safe
And he asked me why I don't get sober, well, I've tried that before
Once I got sober and the old hangover made me drink that much more

''Why do I drink, oh, why do I drink? you ask me once again
Well, if I didn't drink then how could I stand the drunkard that I am?''

With that he stumbled out the door with many a crash and crack
Tripped head over heels and landed smack in the middle of the railroad track
Then flat on his belly he began to crawl along the old cross ties
And as he crawled up the railroad track we could hear him cry:

''Why do I drink, oh, why do I drink? you ask me once again
Well, if I didn't drink then how could I stand the drunkard that I am?''

We watched him crawl up the railroad track for a hundred yards or so
Then all of a sudden we saw him stop and heard him start to moan
''Could someone help me down,'' he cried, ''I'm drunk out of my mind
And this is the tallest ladder that I've ever tried to climb.''

''Why do I drink, oh, why do I drink? you ask me once again
Well, if I didn't drink then how could I stand the drunkard that I am?''