Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer - Mathematics Professor lyrics
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If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am I'm a brilliant mathematician, or so something of a ham I've tried for numerous degrees, in fact, I've one of each Of course, that makes me eminently qualified to teach I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned Yet everyone tells me that I'm hard to understand And I can't think why My diagrams are models of true arduous degree And my handwriting is famous for its legibility Take a word like 'minimum,' to choose a random word For anyone to say he cannot read that is absurd The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure And I can't think why For example Take differentiation, it's as simple as can be Like finding the derivative of tangent X, let's see It's tangent squared, no, secant squared, no, it's just secant, I bet The sign in front is plus, or is it minus? I forget Well, it does have a derivative, of that there is no doubt All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out Yes, students tell I've memorized the whole term through Everything you've taught us, but the problems I can't do And I can't think why He can't think why