Hot step moms and surrogate dads

It breaks my heart to see him so sad

Lying alone in his room with a frown on

Reruns show him what he's missing out on



If life could be, like he sees it on TV

He wouldn't have to hurt so bad

Hurts so bad `cause



It's too much drama, too much drama Dad and Mama

Traded back and forth til he turns 18

It's too much drama, the kid don't need no new step grandma

So he joins a family on the screen

Can't you see? Too many parents leave

Too many sets of parents leave a kid who can't believe

How they can think that he can take it

It's all he can do to fake it



Off for a weekend with real Dad but

The only thing real is how real bad he

Just wants his life to be black and white

Those people never fight



If he could Xerox a home from the talking picture box

He wouldn't have to hurt so bad



So he turns to TV for help and for guidance

A lot of his virtues he picked up from Linus

Fonzie taught him what it means to be cool

From Doogie he learned that he must go to school

Three's Company taught him that just acting gay

Could lower the actual rent he would pay

Cops showed beating your wife and your neighbor

Could immortalize you and your double wide trailer