You're built like R2D2 and you smell like Mr. Ed
I can't believe that thoughts of you are still stuck in my head
When I play Nintendo in Mortal Combat 2
I punch Kitana in the face and I pretend it's you

(chorus)
I know you hate punk music and even though you say
You listen to it every day I wish you'd go away
Sex is not a weapon sex is not a toy you should buy a vibrator
And bring yourself some joy

'Cause then I couldn't hear your stupid stories yet again
You think that you're so sexy but it's so far from true
'Cause even if you had a brain you'd still need some tits too

(chorus x2)

That big old space between your teeth is worse than Letterman's
But it's the space between your legs that needs to be filled in
Sorry it's just not my job to pork you night and day
So listen to me when I tell you go the fuck away