Hurry, hurry, step right up
See the saddest show in town
For only fifty cents

Step right up, hurry, hurry
Before the show begins
My friends

Stand in line
Get your tickets
I hope you will attend

It'll only cost you
Fifty cents to see
What life has done to
Those like you and me

See the man with the broken heart
You'll see that he is sad
He hurts so bad (so bad, so bad)
See the girl who has lost
The only love she ever had

There's got to be
No sadder show to see
No doubt about it
Satisfaction's guaranteed

[CHORUS]
So let the sideshow begin
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can't afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry
Let the sideshow begin
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can't afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry

See the man who's been
Crying for a million years
So many tears, so many tears
See the girl who's collected
Broken hearts for souvenirs

It's more exciting
Than a one man band
The saddest little show
In all the land

[repeat CHORUS 2x]

Let the sideshow begin...