There`s a tramp sittin` on my doorstep 
Tryin` to waste his time 
With his methylated sandwich 
He`s a walking clothesline 
And here comes the bishop`s daughter 
On the other side 
She looks a trifle jealous 
She`s been an outcast all her life 

Me, I`m waiting so patiently 
Lying on the floor 
I`m just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle 
Before it rains anymore 

Oh the gangster looks so fright`ning 
With his luger in his hand 
But when he gets home to his children 
He`s a family man 
But when it comes to the nitty-gritty 
He can shove in his knife 
Yes he really looks quite religious 
He`s been an outlaw all his life 

Me, I`m waiting so patiently 
Lying on the floor 
I`m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle 
Before it rains anymore 

Me, I`m waiting so patiently 
Lying on the floor 
I`m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle 
Before it rains anymore 

Oh the singer, he looks angry 
At being thrown to the lions 
And the bass player, he looks nervous 
About the girls outside 
And the drummer, he`s so shattered 
Trying to keep on time 
And the guitar players look damaged 
They`ve been outcasts all thier lives 

Me, I`m waiting so patiently 
Lying on the floor 
I`m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle 
Before it rains anymore 

Oh, there`s twenty-thousand grandmas 
Wave their hankies in the air 
All burning up their pensions 
And shouting, "It`s not fair!" 
There`s a regiment of soldiers 
Standing looking on 
And the queen is bravely shouting, 
"What the hell is going on?" 

With a blood-curdling "tally-ho" 
She charged into the ranks 
And blessed all those grandmas who 
With their dying breaths screamed, "Thanks!" 

Me, I`m just waiting so patiently 
With my woman on the floor 
We`re just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle 
Before it rains anymore