She walked into the tavern
I was playin some 9 ball she made me scratch
Knew I had to have her
I dont take no for an answer
And thats just that
I started settin my traps
And makin maps
I bought a round of margaritas
She admired my chaps
Tipped my hat
Picked out my Afro
Then adjusted my belt
Worked up the nerve to ask a question to explain how I felt
I said now
Will you ride with me in my LTD?
Will you ride with me?
Now will you ride with me?

She said No
And changed the conversation
So I thought Id show
A little dose of some healthy persuasion

There were complications
And witnesses
Certin limitations
But her fuse was lit
Then I hit the ignition like a seven ten split
Do I empress you now?
She said I highly doubt it

Will you ride with me in my LTD?

Fuck the Jaws of Life bring me a cigarette
I need a beer and a smoke cause I aint finished yet
Im handcuffed to the stretcher but I aint feelin it
Fuck the oxygen mask bring me a cigarette
I say I say
Fuck the oxygen mask bring me a cigarette

Beneath the moon and the stars
As we drove thru Sangamon county
Tried to exit the car
She aint goin nowhere with out me
Dont you doubt me all around me like a Chips episode
Low and behold I bowled a gutter down the side of the road
Told my self just to relax
Told her you better hold on
Were going thru this barricade so put your seat belt on sugar

Will you ride with me in my LTD?
Gas Grass or Ass
No one rides for free

Will you ride with me in my LTD?

Now will you ride with Me!