(The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix)

Some dude once said that love is a many funny things
I know there's a perfect girl out there for me, cuz I see her
In my dreams

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love

Dream girl you amaze me, all dressed in paisley
Love how not one, but both eyes are lazy
When I first saw you, you were drivin' the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros

Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crumby
Skin like asphalt, nose so runny
Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world
You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl

Yo, you're a vision in sweats with the neon pouch
Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth
Rainbow poncho, the female tonto
Hear a loud noise, start b-buckin' like a bronco

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love

You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City
You like a hot bowl of grits only way more gritty
Straight drippin' in turquoise my Santa Fe queen
One short leg, you got the Santa Fe lean

It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep
And when you lift your skirt in public, yo I can't help but peek
You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig
Love to watch you in the backyard when you go out to dig

Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued to your neck?
Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck?
You put away slurpees like a trash can

Your smiles all stainy and you're not too brainy and
I like that!

Talking to your shoes lke it's your friend
I like that!

Yellin' at the walls and make pretend
I like that!

Tellin' you to stop it then you don't
You said you gonna stab me in my sleep
But you won't!

Last week, thought I saw you on the street, turns out it was a bag of trash
Just a big ol' bag of trash
I thought you looked like a bag of trash

Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon
You're sexy and you're spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix
And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mitts

Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British
Never take ya Chex Mix cuz you always get skittish
Open clams with both feet cuz your ambidextrous
No point cuz we know you eat nothin' but Chex Mix

Chex Mix number one food snack in the land
It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand
Chex Mix at your local grocer buy a box
Your family will all say
CHEX MIX ROCKS!

Chex Mix, you're the snack for me, you're the only one
I'll ever eat or buy
Chex Mix you're delicious, you got 60% less fat than potato chips