Right here's the definitive rant

Slates drive me bats

Male slates I bait 



Male slates, male slags 

Male slates, male slags and apes

Male slags, slags slates and tapes 

Male slags in creaky pants and scrubbed hands 

Kill jokes, join gangs

Male slates, slags slates and apes 

And slates brake hard, brake hardly 

Break your slates for Christ's sake 

Male slags, male slates and tapes

Ripoff bands with creaky pants and scrubbed hands 

Male slate, male slag

Knocks over your drink and pays for correct amount spilt

Male slags, slags slates and drapes 



Male slags, slags slates and apes

Academic male slags

Academic male slags

Ream off names of books and bands

Ream off names of books and bands

Kill cultural interest in our land

Male slates, dead publishers sons

Dead publishers sons

In the star cold, nearly old

In the nearly old dead sound of some [petrol] wanker

Commence

famous apes become great

Male slags, male slags and slates

Male slags 



Male slags, slags slates and apes

Let's get on to female slates

Smoke your cigarettes

Make pins out of your whims

Break your balls

Male cunts 



Okay mates

Male slates

Okay let's go to the valley of weights

Let's get on to the valley of weights

The valley of weights was a valley where everybody wore weights

And once they had rid of the weights

Once they got rid of the weights they become trite

Trite and uptight

Too much freedom for a small brain regime 

Too much freedom for a small brain regime 

Male slags, slags slates and tapes