I am an anarchist
An antichrist
An asterisk
I am an anorak
An acolyte
An accidental
I am eleven feet
Okay, eight
Six foot three.
I've fought the British and I won
I have a rocketship
A jet fighter
A paper airplane
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh!

Say what you will
I am the kill
The only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real

I have a tendency
To exaggerate
Just a little bit
I am a plagiarist
Apologist
A lawless calculator
Ah oh
I am an optimist
A closeted misogynist
I've fought the British and I won
I have a wishing well
A living will
A magical eight ball
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh

Say what you will
I am the kill
The only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real
(Put Pat Sajak back in office)
Put Pat Sajak back!

But the sun still sets on you
And the retarded party nobody came to but you
And so you drink to all the emptiness until you wake up
And there's hell to pay again

And the punch lines point at you
And all the comebacks in the world are in your head
But you can't say them until everybody leaves
And it's just you and your imaginary friends
Your imaginary friends
Your imaginary friends