Mathew (with the pugnose)
caught me with his sister in the wheatfield.
Got a couple of buddies
Tied me up and threw me in his oldsmobile.
I said : "Mathew are you crazy ?"
As he started in for the kill
Mathew slowed the olds to 10.
and left me here to die in Merritville

There's a game they play in the summertime
There's a game they play when it's hot outside
And I wonder why they left me here in
Merritville

Sally (with the narrow hips)
cut the ropes and said she would clear my head
Made a path out in the back
and led me all the way to her daddy's shed
so far for a thrill.
Sally let me got that night,
weak, tired, and spent out in Merritville

There's a game they play in the summertime
There's a game they play when it's hot outside
And I wonder why they left me here in
Merritville

William (with the holy book)
Stopped me as I styumbled down the road today.
He said, "Get your knees, boy,
you're gonna larn to pray".
I said, "William, I had no idea that the Lord has such 
a will".
William put his point across 
and left me here to burn in Merritville.