Barbe! Help me please!

Your show is an avenue for the prostitute in me

You want to see my private parts?

Or see the girl that broke my heart?

She's drilling me just to make your day

But I don't care 'cause I like to pay



Is schlager in or schlager out?

Do you care what it's all about?

Or are you bored beyond belief

'cause your home, sick and need relief?



I am a Talk Show Prostitute

I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs

I am a Talk Show Prostitute

You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt

I am a Talk Show Prostitute

I fill the empty spaces in your boring life



Is this the future on T.V.?

You watch as I exploit me here

My friend, it's public larceny

Kick back while I get my feet

My world is open for the mass

You suckers now can kiss my ass

The pay-check's coming in the mail

The money's good - but the themes are stale



I am a Talk Show Prostitute

I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs

I am a Talk Show Prostitute

You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt

I am a Talk Show Prostitute

I fill the empty spaces in your boring life



Meiser! Help me please!

Your show is an avenue for the prostitute in me



I am a Talk Show Prostitute

I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs

I am a Talk Show Prostitute

You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt

I am a Talk Show Prostitute

I fill the empty spaces in your boring life