I've been growin' my cactus since birth and I'll tell you that

It's even more fun to have than a Chia Pet

Fun's just begun, when I take it off the shelf

I play with it with friends or when I'm by myself

Flourishing nightly by the light of the full moon

It always stands erect when in full bloom

More powerful than the starship Enterprise

Took it to a show and my cactus won a prize

All attempts to control it have been foiled

I plant my cactus and it gets soiled

Girls are impressed when they happen to come upon it

At night when I go to work I put a cover on it



I got a cat and the pussy likes to play with it

If I keep up the good work she'sll stay with it

I grow it for keeps but I know when I'm licked

One girl wasn't careful when she touched it and she got pricked

Beware of my cactus when I turn it loose

But I know you're gonna love my cactus juice

I've seen cactuses that have seen better days

Take good care and it grows a little every day

Even if you don't like me I would guess that

When you see my cactus you're gonna be impressed

I know it can suit your needs, can't it?

Doesn't matter where it's always ready to be planted

My cactus is special so I wrote a poem

It's in a class by itself so it hangs alone

If you don't like the way I'm goin' at this

You can kick my ass, but please don't kick my cactus