(parody of "Jinglin' Baby" by L.L. Cool J)



I call you every day, we go out every night

I hope we'll be together for the rest of our lives

People spread gossip, just jealous I guess

Because the smell that you give off makes 'em choke to death

You eat baked beans and you've never been full

But you pour 'em down your mouth by the bucket full

Check out the way the bed sheets rise and fall

The strong gasses make cracks in the wall

I didn't hear it but I smell it please turn on the fan

And before you leave please flush the can

Odorous emissions are the iceberg's tip

If you feel it buildin' up then just let it rip

But then oh no, I'll get the gas mask

I tried to fumigate but it's an impossible task

I've gotten used to it in fact I kinda like it when it's done

Now, go ahead and cut another one



[chorus]

I'm flatulent baby

Go ahead baby



You rip 'em and cut 'em like you're only made of gas

A crowded movie theatre will empty out fast

Taxi driver didn't let you get very far

Took a little whiff, get out my car!

I'm accostomed, but the rest of you

If the aroma's too much then I'll tell you what to do

Stand back, get as far away as you can

Or you'll be hit with a smell that can level the land

Baby's got back with a serious attack

That affects me just like an aphrodesiac

It's real bad, you'd better check your dirty drawers

And the sound mistaken for a herd of wild boars

I don't mind that my eyes are bloodshot

I'm prepared, so give it all you got

Forget other body functions, this one's a trip

Yo baby, bend over and let it rip

[chorus]



When you first walked in you were beautiful no doubt

But that smell that came with you nearly knocked me out

I tried to hold my breatch, I nearly choked to death

Strugglin' for air, I had to call the EMS

How you gonna stay alive while you're inside and elevator

I can't believe it, the gasses can't be fumigated

We go swimmin', I'm in a lot of trouble

It could be a hot tub 'cause there's so many bubbles

You go have fun I'm taking a vacation

'Cause you've got the ultimate in constipation

Girl yo, I love you but you smell bad

And it drives me nuts

Knockin' over houses while the owners run

Man watchin' you fart is my main source of fun

I've gotten used to it in fact I kinda like it when it's done

Now, go ahead and cut another one

[chorus]



I can't believe you tried to breathe the same air as me

The fumes'll put a strain on your olfactory

Bad breath and body odor is what you're about

Every hole in your body has a stench coming out

I hold my nose when you approach I suppose

That you ruined your clothes and can't breathe through your nose

Hold it in, you can't but you tried

I can't help if you smell like somebody died

People avoid you like you had the plague

My brother took a deep breath, that was a big mistake

Barnum wanted you as a side show freak

I'm gonna give you a cork to plug up the gas leak

You know I love you baby and you know I don't care

That you constantly smell like you burn your hair

When you pass by and you pass your end

They say that limburger woman walked by again

So take a step back give me some room to breathe

You smell as if you got some kind of fatal disease

Other men said they loved you but the smell made them liars

Now go ahead and fart all your little heart desires

[chorus]