I saw the advert on my TV screen

Slimline girls and a tea machine

Housewife proud of her shiny floor

As if that's what she was living for

The cat who had his teeth pulled out

That's what the public love no doubt

A cuddly gimmick to make you smile

That cat won't grin for a very long while

I saw the advert on my TV screen

Slimline drinks and tetley tea

Exploit the accent of the flat-cap men

Like hell the North will rise again

The comradeship of drinking ale

The workers' revolution failed

Too pissed on shit to notice it

Nevermind where it if it fits

I saw the advert on my TV screen

Slimline cars a real mean machine

It's cheaper than this it's cheaper than that

It's still ten thousand pounds you twat

Do I get a free tart with every one?

Can I drive it off into the sun?

Has it got a big ashtray?

I'm hooked on forty fags a day

You mustn't smoke, you mustn't drink

You mustn't even try to think

Just stay dead the advert said

Eight out of ten people had no brains

Eight out of ten said they enjoyed it

The whole damn country died of boredom