She – got my number and she – chasing me so far

Me – out of slumber, I can do with no faut-pas

Mixed-up and bleeding, I's high on believing

    It's all surreal

Slip on a T-shirt, me – gotta look so cool

Me Biba braces are making me so cruel

She – Dinosaur and Me – her He-Whore

    Sleep Muriel



Oh ! See her move so right in her big baggy strides

And her golden top made of satin

See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty piss

This is Muriel the actor who's rapping, ping, ping



She dressed to kill and Me – looking so jolly

I know she will 'cos she's a lady of folly

She's seventeen, oh ! You know what I mean

    She's a circus girl

Across the ring on a gay light fantastic

For anything, oh ! She'll bust her elastic

She – so inviting, me – giving up fighting

    I'm all in a whirl



Oh ! See her move so right in her big baggy strides

And her golden top made of satin

See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty piss

This is Muriel the actor who's rapping, ping, ping



A superman in a comical moment

Jump through the fan, you're the inhuman showman

Oh ! hear the roar of the crowd call for more

    So gullible !!!!

Me – took ma band on the road for a lift up

She took my hand and she said "never give up"

Oh schizophrenia, I know you, I been yer

    So subtle…..



Oh ! See her move so right in her big baggy strides

And her golden top made of satin

See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty piss

This is Muriel the actor who's rapping, ping, ping