Well I wish I had some memories
That I'd keep inside my trunk
I wish I had a nickel for every beer I've drunk
And I wish I had me a sailing ship
That'd take me over the sea.
I wish I could talk you in to coming home with me
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
but I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Well I saw it in the Jail House
and I saw in the War
and I saw it my mirror
Well just a couple of times before
I wish I was the Candyman
sweet as I could be
In every town the ladies hang 'round
Just to get a taste of me
Iwish I was an opry star
Or had me a Ph. D.
I wish I had the common sense
to be satisfied with me
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
but I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
Well I saw it in the Jail House
and I saw in the War
Well I saw it my mirror
Well just a couple of times before
(instrumental)
I wish I had a magic pocket, That'd keep all my money 
in
I wish I knew a good excuse for all of my mortal sins
Well they say 'to know the best in life, you gotta know 
the worst
I wish that I had been the clown, who thought up that 
one first
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
But I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Hey, I saw it in the Jail House
and I saw in the War
Well I saw it in the mirror
A couple of times before
Let me tell you
I saw it in the Jail House
it was on the post office door
and I saw it on my mirror
a couple of times before
Good People I saw it in the jail house
Saw it in the war
lord I saw it in the mirror ....fade