He seemed shy and so confused
Now that he's older, he's last year's news
She is looking for somebody fresh and young
She is looking for someone less miserable
She's looking for somebody new
Much better than Eddie Vedder
His pictures used to line her locker
But they don't hang there any longer
She has gone and burned them all
Eddie comes crashing down from the bathroom wall

Now she's looking for somebody cuter
Someone more fun who rides a scooter
Eddie hides his face behind a jokeshop mask
Eddie, you've missed the grade,
you've failed the test
She's looking for somebody better
Much better than Eddie Vedder
There's got to be somebody better
Much better than Eddie Vedder