My mother said I never should
Play with the young men in the wood.
If I did, she would say
'Naughty little girl to disobey!'

I'm a typically English rosebud
Born of typically English stock
With a typically Anglo-Saxon family tree.
I received my education
In a typically English way
At a typically English Girls' Academy.

I play typically English tennis
At a typically English club
With a typically English feeling for fair play.
I eat typically English crumpets
With my typically English tea
At the end of every typically English day.

Father is a typically English colonel,
Home is a typically English county town.
Mummy and I play typically English patience
While the typically English rain is pouring down.

We've a typically English spaniel
Who likes typically English walks
Past the typically English trees upon the heath.
And if anyone asks me how I like
This typically English life,
Well I am fed up to my typically English teeth.

My mother said I never should
Play with the young men in the wood
If I did, she would say
They'll only end up in the family way.

If a typically English souter
In a typically English suit
Calls to take me out to a typically English tea
There's a typically English table
Booked for typically English two
But my typically English mother
Makes it three

When we go to typically English dances,
Mother gives me typically sound advice:
How to cope with typically coarse advances,
But I'm bound to confess I find them rather nice!

In the typically English summer
We take typically English housse
To a typically seaside place with Auntie Maude;
And if anyone asks me how I like
This typically English life,
I have never been so - bloody bored!