I'm calling in sick

I'm calling in twisted

I was drinking two-fisted

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



Hanging with friends

We were doing slammers

They try and get me hammered

Boss, I said no

But they insisted



I'm calling in sick

I'm calling in bland

The biggest Freak-a-zoid ever known to man

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



I'm calling in sick

I'm calling in tired

Look man I am oh so wired

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



Won't be the first time I lost a good job

Look at me now - a drunken slob

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



I'm calling in pissed

Hung over y'all

I'm gonna use the fake cough when I make that call

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



I'm calling in sick

I'm calling in twisted

I was drinking two-fisted

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



I'm calling in pissed

Hung over y'all

I'm gonna use the fake cough when I make that call

I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



Yeah I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



Yeah I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted



Yeah I'm sick

I'm calling in twisted