G                                    G#/A
I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town
    D7                                                   G
I believe in God and Senator Dodd and keeping old Castro down
                                    G#   A
And when it came my time to serve I knew better dead than red
    D7                                                      G
But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said:

                G
     Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
           G#/A
       And I always carry a purse
           D7
     I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, and my asthma's
               G
       getting worse
                                                   G# A
     O think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old
       invalid aunt
                D7
     Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school, and I'm
                            G
       working in a defense plant

I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back
  I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits
  And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
I got the weakness woes, and I can't touch my toes
  I can hardly reach my knees
And if the enemy came close to me
  I'd probably start to sneeze

(chorus)

I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies,
  but one thing you gotta see
That someone's gotta go over there
  and that someone isn't me
So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em Hell
  Yeah, Kill me a thousand or so
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore
  Well I'll be the first to go

(chorus)