1970--------------------------If I could read their mindsI kind of think I’d seeA lot of little questions there concerning meFor instance . . .Has he aged, or did he lose weight? I think I read somewhere that he’s 38!He hasn’t lost his hair, he could stand a little dye!He looks relaxed up there but what’s he like inside? How does old perra-la unwind? I could almost read their minds!From my publicityI’ll bet you’d like to know,If I’ll stay awake thru the entire show? You wonder what’s beneath that florida tanDeep down inside is he . . .A dirty old man? What does it really take to make him lose his cool? Does he go anywhere without that tired stool? Does he notice girl’s behinds? I can almost read your minds!It doesn’t take a guy equipped with espTo see what’s cookin’ with your curiosity!Is mister nice guy just a press agent’s pitch? His dearest friends say he’s a . . .You never thought you’d see me in las vegas ’live’I haven’t played a club since 1885!It’s spelled out in dollar signs ( you better believe it! )I can almost read your minds!1980------------------------If I could read your mindsI kind of think I’d seeA lot of little questions there concerning meFor instance . . .Has he aged, or did he put on weight? I think I read somewhere that he’s 38!He hasn’t lost his hair, but he could stand a little dye!Looks relaxed up there but what’s he like inside? How does old perra-louch unwind? I can almost read your minds!From my publicityI’ll bet you’d like to know,If I’ll stay awake thru the entire show? You wonder what’s beneath that florida tanDeep down inside is he . . .A dirty old man? You wonder what it takes to make him lose his cool? Does he have holy water in his swimming pool? Would he pinch a girl’s behind? It doesn’t take a guy equipped with espTo see what’s goin’ with your curiosity!Is mister nice guy just a press agent’s pitch? His dearest friends say he’s a . . .Now this may sound cliché, but clichés are often trueI’m glad you let me come an’ sing my songs to youAnd I’m happy that I findThat I could almost read your minds!