Have you ever seen an idealist 

With grey hairs on his head 

Or successful men who keep in touch 

With unsuccessful friends? 



You only think you do 

I could have sworn I saw it too 

But as it turns out, 

It was just a clever ad for cigarettes 



Cause if it isn't making dollars 

Then it isn't making sense 

If you aren't moving units 

Then you're not worth the expense 

If you really want to make it 

You had best remember this 

If it isn't penetration 

Then it isn't worth a kiss 



We're so sorry, sir, 

But you did not quite make the cut this time 

We'd appriciate it if you'd cleared 

Your stuff all out by five 



Don't take it personal 

Everyone knows you did your best 

If it makes it easier, 

You should look at things from our perspective 



Cause if it isn't making dollars 

Then it isn't making sense 

If you aren't moving units 

Then you're not worth the expense 

If you really want to make it 

You had best remember this 

If it isn't penetration 

Then it isn't worth a kiss