Someday I will be a granddaddy
I'll be the laziest sonofabitch you ever seen
I won't care if the children are being bratty
I'll just walk around as if it's all a dream

And if the whole world loses its mind
I'll be fine
Ride the roller coaster round the bend and back again

If I live to be bout ninety five
I'll just sit there on my porch and eat an apple
They say one a day helps keep the doctor away
And that's ok

But I ain't taking any chances on my fate
Gonna bounce you on my knees just in case
When the time comes to burn out or fade away
Like the rest of my life, I'll be running late

If the time comes to put me in a home
I'll be gone
No desire to wander round alone
I'll be gone, I'll be gone

Someday when I'm a granddaddy
Be as sweet as pumpkin pie, just wait and see
We'll hide chocolate candy all around the house
So all the little ones will come and see me
We'll hide chocolate candy all around the house
Then all the little ones will come and see me