JACK 

Listen everyone. There were objects so peculiar 

They were not to be believed 

All around, things to tantalize my brain 



It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen 

And as hard as I try 

I can't seem to describe 

Like a most improbable dream 



But you must believe when I tell you this 

It's as real as my skull and it does exist 

Here, let me show you 



This is a thing called a present 

The whole thing starts with a box 



HARLEQUIN DEMON 

A box? 



DEVIL 

is it steel? 



WEREWOLF 

Are there locks? 



HARLEOUIN DEMON 

Is it filled with a pox? 



DEVIL

A pox 

How delightful, a pox 



JACK 

If you please 

Just a box with bright-colored paper 

And the whole thing's topped with a bow 



WITCHES 

A bow? 

But why? 

How ugly 

What's in it? 

What's in it? 



JACK 

That's the point of the thing, not to know 



CLOWN 

It's a bat 



CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS 

Will it bend? 



CLOWN 

It's a rat 



CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS 

Will it break? 



UNDERSEA GAL 

Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake 



JACK 

Listen now, you don't understand 

That's not the point of Christmas land 



Now, pay attention 

We pick up an oversized sock 

And hang it like this on the wall 



MR. HYDE 

Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? 



MEDIUM MR. HYDE 

Let me see, let me look 



SMALL MR. HYDE 

Is it rotted and covered with gook? 



JACK 

Umm, let me explain 

There's no foot inside, but there's candy 

Or sometimes it's filled with small toys 



MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON 

Small toys 



WINGED DEMON 

Do they bite? 



MUMMY 

Do they snap? 



WINGED DEMON 

Or explode in a sack? 



CORPSE KID 

Or perhaps they just spring out 

And scare girls and boys 



MAYOR 

What a splendid idea 

This Christmas sounds fun 

I fully endorse it 

Let's try it at once 



JACK 

Everyone, please now, not so fast 

There's something here that you don't quite grasp 

Well, I may as well give them what they want 



And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last 

For the ruler of this Christmas land 

Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice 

Least that's what I've come to understand 



And I've also heard it told 

That he's something to behold 

Like a lobster, huge and red 

And sets out to slay with his rain gear on 

Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms 

That is, so I've heard it said 



And on a dark, cold night 

Under full moonlight 

He flies into a fog 

Like a vulture in the sky 

And they call him Sandy Claws hu hu hu



Well, at least they're excited 

Though they don't understand 

That special kind of feeling in Christmas land 

Oh, well...