Because I'm tired of maturity, airport insecurity

Runnin' from the Thought Police, fightin' with the go-betweens

Hold up, let me steal a breath

'Cause we're dealin' with identity theft



(You need an education)

I don't see why I got to

(You need a good degree)

As to assimilate



So little time, so much to be bored by

If no one trod along Harvard lawn, no one'd make a nuclear bomb

They don't teach you how to care, empathisin' if you dare

Euthanize your sense of fair play, better to obey



No child is free, oh, why, it's queasy to see

Is that an elementary or a penitentary



Huh, geez, get off my back

Beat it, take it to town, man

Idiots go to college to get dumbed down



Ooh, it leaves you bereft

Ooh, identity theft

I may be wrong, I don't know why

I may be wrong, but I'll try



Because I'm sick of the insanity, watchin' horny manatee

Feelin' like a libertine, dealin' with the death machine

Hold 'em up, it's a street arrest

And we're dealin' with identity theft



(You need a publication)

I don't see why I got to

(You need a press release)

As to assimilate



Journo-fascist profiteers, pornotastic pioneers

Bonbonbastic puppeteers, get away from me

How can you write what we read, that ain't my reality

You disabuse humanity, humility and fealty



Oh, you guess you got an edge

Hiding your hedge from the feds

Puttin' down the little veg

(Ignorance is a right, not a privilege)



I'm finished, done, and had it

And while you fucks are at it

As far as I'm concerned, Pluto's still a planet



Ooh, you die a quick death

Ooh, identity theft

I may be wrong, I don't know why

I may be wrong, but I'll try



Because I'm sick of all the sabotage, where's my female entourage

Lookin' for some kind of closure, all I'm findin' is Ray Bolger

Hold up, hell yeah, I'll confess

'Cause we're dealin' with identity theft



(You need an occupation)

I don't see why I got to

(You need a boss to please)

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're late



Yakety yak, don't look whack, Nellie, you're a heart attack

Murder, murder, on the wall, who's the butchest one of all

(Where'd you get that vegan dress, a flea market)

Oops, I forgot, you design for Target

Shun violence and religion, don't ever play with nuns



But I punched a man on Broadway just to watch him cry

Every guy I went to try said I fight him but I can't think why



Bent unhinged and singed

I cringe to watch the main event

But in the end, there's no success like revenge



Ooh, it leaves you bereft

Ooh, identity theft

I may be wrong, I don't know why

I may be wrong, but I'll try



Because I'm tired of hypocrisy, is it them or is it me

If Jesus Christ is left in ruin, Satan, buddy, how you doin'

Hold 'em up, it's a street arrest

And we're dealin' with identity theft



Because I'm tired of being sweet and nice

Fuck you once and fuck you twice

Show your passport, get that stamp

Funny like a nazi camp

Hold 'em up, hell yeah, I'll confess

'Cause we're dealin with identity theft