Beware the Killer Tents!
Beware the Killer Tents!

Chorus:

The tents are coming, over the hill
We thought they were inanimate,
But now they're set to kill
At Falcon Ridge this summer
Somehow we've enraged the Falcon Gods
Tents have turned to creeping crawling body-snatching pods

It was time for the big hoedown
It was Hillsdale '99
Susan Werner saw a tent pole grow like an ivy vine
Eddie from Ohio through his rear view mirror saw
How with reckless abandon they were eatin' people raw
(Tents, that is)

The Kennedy's tore Greg Brown
From his soul food bowl
Said surely nothing good can come from
Such a grassy knoll
Time to cut the mustard
And beat a fast retreat
Cause Vance Gilbert's looking tasty
And those tents they gotta eat!

(Jian: they like the dark meat!)

Repeat Chorus

Roger the Jester wasn't joshing when he said
"They'll kill us all!"
And an unHarmonius Wail announced the end of Ellis Paul
Cry Cry Cry as they devoured
Run Run Run as they hurl
The undigested flesh of
LJ Booth and Stacey Earle

They'll execute a Hudson crossing
As the mother tent commands
Slithering all the way from Utah Phillips
Screwdrivers in hand
To dismantle the machinery
From where folk fests are flowing
So this time next year this field will just be
Wild Asparagus growing

Repeat Chorus

Beware the Killer Tents!!

Tony Trischka's hallowed banjo
The hungry tents will sup
And even Ani will be swallowed
Up Up Up Up Up
From Ferron they'll exact
Their macabre vendetta
And the Nields will never have the chance
To get over that slut Greta!

No Falcon Ridge performer will escape this ghastly crime
Except for those who weren't invited
And those whose names are hard to rhyme
What of Fruvous, you may ask
Listen up! Let me explain!
We joined forces with the tents
And turned them into the King of Spain!

Yes with this terrifying army
Fruvous futures have been coupled
We've pissed off the folkies
But our ticket prices have been doubled!

Repeat Chorus

Beware the Killer Tents!
Beware the Killer Tents!