Momus
Momus - The Cheque's In The Post lyrics
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Me and my lawyer sat down and worked out The full cost of the wrongs I have done you And I'm sending the money to you The cheque's in the post For giving you hell When I should have been treating you well Reparation: five hundred five pound notes in a roll For remarks about your weight For complaining when you were late Compensation: two thousand pounds, the going rate For the times we were out And my eye kept roving about Settling on younger women: Fifteen hundred, say it's Forgiven Running total: six thousand three hundred and fifty Pounds With tax added on And that's just the end of verse one For attacking your superstition Your pantheistic new age religion Let's say the sum of one thousand seven hundred and Ninety seven When I said your new dress wasn't splendid When I told you the way the film ended I guess I was wrong, accept this token: seven thousand Pounds And for passing the pictures I'd taken Of your body totally naked Around all our friends, let's call it a round nine Thousand pounds Running total: twenty four thousand one hundred and Forty seven pounds On it's way to you And this is just the end of verse two Me and my lawyer sat down and worked out The real cost of the wrongs I have done you And I'm sending the money to you The cheque's in the post And for my next indiscretion When we had sex on the floor of the kitchen I sang it in a song: accept ten thousand - make that Eleven thousand - pounds And for failing to give enough time To the baby that could have been mine It's not that I don't care, my love, it's just so hard To find a figure Worst of all I stopped loving your body Making you feel so low Though my lawyer says no blame can be apportioned For circumstances beyond my control So now I'm all paid up And absolved from this guilt I'm going to get another girl in Under my quilt And run up Another massive debt Hail Mary Pray for me now Now and at the hour of my death (Ba-ba-da ba-ba-da ba-ba-da) (Ba-ba-da ba-ba-da ba-ba-da)