VERSE
I thought he was my partner
Less than lovers, more than friends
He said it wouldn't last
But like the cosmos, it never ends

They say he's going steady
With some woman that I don't know
I've never met this person
But I think that I should go and say hello

I wish that he'd step back
And weigh his options for what they're worth
She may be smart and pretty
Oh, but our love has orbited the earth

PRECHORUS
I will not let her take my place
I'm in a new kind of space race

CHORUS
But I don't tell my parents
And I don't tell my friends
I just grab some rubber tubing
And I pull on my Depends
And then I drive
It's time for a road trip

I've printed out these letters
That he sent her, and all of that
I've written these directions

I'll take this airsoft pistol
Should she makes threats against my life
A wig and pepper spray
And this eight inch Gerber folding knife

PRECHORUS
I will not let my man pursue her
Now she will get what's coming to her

CHORUS

BRIDGE
She's just a captain in the Air Force
She's never been in outer space
I guess I'll have to go remind her
That I'm a g**damn astronaut
And she should know her place

I pass through the state border
And I'm welcomed by a sign
I can feel my heart pounding
in my temples - and justice will be mine

She's nowhere in the airport
Then I recognize her car
I see no reason why I should be fearful
I've already come this far

PRECHORUS
I will not let her victimize me
At this point nothing can surprise me

CHORUS