Ooh, ha-ha, ooh, ha-ha

If you weren't born with it
You can buy a couple ornaments
Just be sure to read the warning, kids
'Cause pretty soon you'll be bored of it
Ha-ha
Sexual, hey girl, if you wanna feel sexual
You can always call up a professional
They stick pins in you like a vegetable
Ha-ha

Kids forever, kids forever
Baby soft skin turns into leather
Don't be dramatic, it's only some plastic
No one will love you if you're unattractive

Oh Mrs. Potato Head, tell me
Is it true that pain is beauty?
Does a new face come with a warranty?
Will a pretty face make it better?
Oh Mr. Potato Head, tell me
How did you afford her surgery?
Do you swear you'll stay forever?
Even if her face don't stay together
Even if her face don't stay together

Ha-ha
If you want a little more confidence
Potatoes turn to french fries, yeah it's common sense
All you need's a couple more condiments
And a hundred thousand dollars for some compliments
Ha-ha
It's such a waste
When little girls grow into their mother's face
But little girls are learning how to cut and paste
And pucker up their lips until they suffocate
Ha-ha

Kids forever, kids forever
Baby soft skin turns into leather
Don't be dramatic, it's only some plastic
No one will love you if you're unattractive

Oh Mrs. Potato Head, tell me
Is it true that pain is beauty?
Does a new face come with a warranty?
Will a pretty face make it better?
Oh Mr. Potato Head, tell me
How did you afford her surgery?
Do you swear you'll stay forever?
Even if her face don't stay together

Stay forever, stay forever
Even if her face don't stay together
Stay forever, stay forever
Even if her face don't stay together

Ooh, ha-ha, ooh, ha-ha

Oh Mrs. Potato Head, tell me
Is it true that pain is beauty?
Does a new face come with a warranty?
Will a pretty face make it better?
Oh Mr. Potato Head, tell me
How did you afford her surgery?
Do you swear you'll stay forever?
Even if her face don't stay together

Stay forever, stay forever
Even if her face don't stay together
Stay forever, stay forever
Even if her face don't stay together
Stay forever, stay forever
Even if her face don't stay together
Stay forever, stay forever
Even if her face don't stay together