I want candy, bubble gum and taffy
Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart Sandy
Got my pennies saved so I'm her sugar daddy
I'm her Hugh Cronyn, and she's my Jessica Tandy, I want candy

Put it in a pile
Split it with my bitty
Fifty/fifty, down the the line
Kind of like close encounters of the cavity kind

I'm talkin' lickerish, kisses
Talkin' chocolate dile smiles
I want candy
I gotta sugar tooth
Put on your shanghai, Sandy
'Cause I wanna knock boots

Lick the peppermint stick
'Til the lollipop droops
Gum drops that don't stop
'Til the litlot's loose
Candy, candy

I need candy
Bubble gum and taffy
Get in my way punk
You're gonna get your ass beat
Nasty
Do it 'til your daddy sees
Embarrass your own family
Just because you came between a kid and his candy

I need candy
Any kind'll do
Don't care if it's nutritious or FDA approved
It's gonna make me spazz like bobcats on booze
A hyperactive juice that only I can produce

That fuels a giant drill, bore straight into hell
Releasin' ancient demons from a sleep forever spell
So they can walk upon the earth, and get resituated
And hawk the diet pills MC Pee Pants have created

I need candy, want some candy
Eat candy 'til I'm dead
I'll kill you for some candy
Give me candy, candy head

Where you keepin' all the candy
Who made you candy king
If you don't give me some candy
I will make the ladies sing

Mess up the mix, mix up the mess
Come on down yo, here's the address
Said six, one-two Wharf Avenue
Right next to gentleman's club