Juanita thinks she's a roller rink
We're on the brink of financial disaster
Wants to feel just a little faster
Smashed her hand on the mirror in the bathroom
I get high watching Rockford Files
Juanita lives just like Jimmy drives
Screech those tires, yeah and scrape the sides
Find that little bit left inside
What am I supposed to tell our friends?
That you walked into a bender
I haven't seen you since
But I know that you've been
Getting loose with the gin and juice
The proof is in the photo shoot
I'm sure
You pulled this shit before
Played the prodigal whore
You said you're just exploring

Virginia slept with the sketchy chick 
She was sick, they still clicked
Rhode Island slide with the skinny guy
Pawtucket pawnshops and Newport Lights
Made amends with your dealer friends 
The truth is in the camera lens
So don't come home
With a stick in your nose 
I hired a detective
He's got a tiny camera 

Juanita thinks she can skip the sleep
The sun sneaks up on the Born Rock freaks
Maybe next time we get together
The deviated septum 
Will feel a little better