I was dumped by Jake Gyllenhaal, last year

So I bought this hipster voodoo doll, with a beard

I stab him here right in his Gyllen balls,

Still he won't return my calls, why?



I'm calling just to say that I've moved on, with my life

This will be the last time that I call, tonight

Do you mind if I sleep on your lawn

I say, I love you, we hates him, the precious, Smeagol



Oohoo oohoo oohoo

One side of me gets the hint but

Pttpttpttpttptt

This side is ogidy, ogidy, ogidy



We were never ever ever ever, actually together

Sweety remember-member-member, smoking crack together

We ate chalk and did bath salts and had sex with a tree

Um we have never ever ever, done any of that together



Like, we sort of did

My stuffed animals totally remember it

Yeah I remember that, me too



I swallowd a whole bottle of these pills, flintstones

These voices in my head feel like a drill, Gollum

He's telling me that we have to kill, your mom

But I can't seem to trigger this bomb



Mmmmmmmmm



I can't hear you through the gag

Oohoo oohoo oohoo

Looks like, I just need a new battery



She can never ever ever, be put back together

Now he, will never ever ever, give me back my sweater

I moved on and soon I'm gonna be a Kennedy, yippie!

Their family curse gets worse and worse with every century



They got shot, his plane got lost and this one's dating me

If he ever dumped me ever He will be dismembered

My precious