Captain's log, stardate 4307.1.

First officer Spock seems to be going through 'Pon Far',

which is a period every seven years where Vulcans are going in heat.

Seems that if they don't find a suitable mate, during this 'Pon Far',

they can go mad or even die.

I'mma have to start using that excuse on my dates.

Good one, Champ!

Thank you Bones!

Needless to say Spock is hornier than a three-pecked tribble on prom night,

and has requested R and R.

Premission granted, Spock.

Go find a cave for that trouser snake before it's too late!