There are times when a boy becomes a man.
Things you couldn't tell him, you suddenly can.
When Billy grew up, I thought it was the time,
That I called him, and lay things on the line.

I said "Billy, you've almost turned sixteen
And I thought I ought to tell you about your mama and
Me.
I have to let you know we married thirteen years ago,
So technically speaking... you're a bastard.

"You're a bastard, you're a bastard.
But you're still my son.
You're a bastard, you're a bastard.
But what's done is done."

Billy, he's a big boy, he stood by my side.
And as he looked down at me, a tear came to his eye
(There's two of them)
He said "Dad, what you tell me, comes as no surprise.

Ma told me all about you 'fore she died.

"She said you'd promised you'd always be true.
Never cheat on a blind girl, it's what you'd never do.
But you slept with her mother, her sister and her -
Brother.
And in a word, she said you... were a bastard.

You're a bastard, you're a bastard."
And did my mama wrong ('twas his words)
"You're a bastard, you're a bastard."
And I replied: "But you were a bastard first."

All together now:

He's a bastard, he's a bastard. (I'm a bastard)
He's a selfish old shite (That's me.)
He's a bastard, he's a bastard.
And you know, that bastard was right.
And you know, that bastard... was right.