(CHORUS)
Everybody loves a nut
The whole world loves a weirdo
Brains are in a rut but
Everybody loves a nut

There was a hermit named Fred
Who kept a dead horse in his cave
And everyone said to Fred
Fred, how come you keep
A dead horse in your cave

And he said, well

(CHORUS)

A Columbia man named Frank
Had a tiger named Hank
He tried to put Hank in his tank
Guess what happened to old Frank

When they picked up
The teeth, hair and eyeballs
And erected a tombstone that read

(CHORUS)

Another Columbia fella
Told Queen Isabella
I don't think the world is flat
Now what do you think about that

And she said, you don't
And he said, no, ma'am
And she said, you
Get out of my queendom
And he said, yes, ma'am

(CHORUS) 2X