While digesting Reader's Digest

In the back of a dirty book store,

A plastic flag, with gum on the back,      

Fell out on the floor.

Well, I picked it up and I ran outside

Slapped on my window shield,

And if I could see old Betsy Ross

I tell her how good I feel.



Chorus:

But your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven any more.

They're already overcrowded

From your dirty little war.

Now Jesus don't like killin'

No matter what the reason's for,

And your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven any more. 



Well, I went to the bank this morning

And the cashier he said to me,

"If you join the Christmas club

We'll give you ten of them flags for free."

Well, I didn't mess around a bit

I took her up on what he said.

And I stuck them stickers all over my car

And one on my wife's forehead.



Repeat Chorus:



Well, I got my window shield so filled

With flags I couldn't see.

So, I ran the car upside a curb

And right into a tree.

By the time they got a doctor down

I was already dead.

And I'll never understand why the man

Standing in the Pearly Gates said...



But your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven any more.

We're already overcrowded

From your dirty little war.

Now Jesus don't like killin'

No matter what the reason's for,

And your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven any more.