O weary me

I'm broke as a man can be

My bills are all due, I got holes in my shoe

Bill collectors, they won't let me sleep 



If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing

I could make cash registers ring

What a sight to behold her, she could sit on my shoulder

And whimper in harmony



If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing

What a wonderful world it would be

I could take her to the border and teach her how to order

Margaritas and Fajitas Senoritas would bring



The circus is coming to town

The telephone lines are down

While the tight rope they're stretchin', my puppy is fetchin',

The tin cans all scattered around...



If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing

The whole would live in peace

Instead of them fightin', everyone would be writin'

Love letters to Senators and Police



If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing

What brave  new world it would be

I could take her to China, on a big Jet Airliner

And Bark in the Park 'till the Freedom Bells Ring



If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing

There'd be no more sorrow and grief

I could take her to the border and teach her how to order

Guacamole and Posole, and feel Holy and Free!