The 2002 Winter Olympics are next week,
and the theme song for the olympics is "America" by Neil Diamond
Now, no offence to Neil Diamond but thats songs good
it's only like 20 years old
So I thought I could change the words to some more recent songs
and see if they want to use those instead
You should highlight the events, like downhill skiing

I can go down hill
on the icey snow
dressed up in my unitard
where else can I go?
I'm only a man on two skinny red skis
instead of cologne I'm wearing anti freeze
Can't even tell if I'm winning the race
because snot is frozen on my face
and its not easy to down hill ski

And the a... The winter olympics, they just happen to be in February
which is also black history month
I think that's just perfect considering how much black people love
winter sports

What in the world was on your mind?
What chu got on your mind?
a couple of dudes with nose bleeds
and its hard to breathe
with that height people
just white people cause
Aint no homies play hockey
if its below 30 you can bite me
I'll turn off my Sony
till you stop that
I'm gonna see a movie
with a hot pack
Thaw out

One good reason to turn in this year is this new event called
skeleton where an Olympian lays on this tiny metal sled
on their stomach and go head first down the mountain. It's insane.

Never made it as a luge man
Couldnt hack it on the bobsled now
you dont have to remind me of how I will get hurt
You dont have to remind me
Haven't done it since the 40s
Go down a mountain like 50 stories
All the drugs that I'll be takin
For all the bones that I'll be breaking
I will cry
I could die
You'll have to find my body at the bottom
These few words in my head saying
don't die don't die
Don't die on this sled
yeah, yeah
please don't die on this little sled