Go back to your dorm... you got your roommates and that never works out.







That never works out. They don't want it to work out... they... they want it so 

it's like a Real World episode in your dorm room. 

understand... like they have those compatibility tests you filled out at the 

beginning of the year... that's such a joke that test you fill out of the 

beginning of the year... it's like





Umm I like rock and roll... I like staying out 

late... and I love the ladies oh yea OOOO!









Okay we've got a perfect roommate for you he's an opera major, he's 

a narcoleptic and he's gay so go fight each other... we've got four camera angles 

... that'll be perfect welcome to college... go screw your self 





HUH yeah that's what we say here go ahead.





Then you think you say okay I got Pete my buddy from high 

school is coming up he's gonna be my room mate it's gonna be awesome...No that is 

never awesome it doesn't work out... No it doesn't 

you will fight each other... you will just get... you just get ... I tell you why one 

is they have too much dirt on you... your friend from home has too much dirt 

they'll kill you they'll crush you in an argument for no reason like you just say 



"Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for two weeks man they're your dishes 

are you going to clean them or what?"













"Not fair to bring up my crabs."