Wake up Major and stitch on your hat
You fell out of bed and then you landed in the cash
So what's in your diary today?
Call on your main man, what can he do for you?
Hang out with stupid, so you can tell him what to do
Major this is your day

Living alone in a jar
Never gets you very far

He can read your mind, make you feel alright
Sgt. Major knows what you want
He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star
Yeah, the Major knows what you want

Take out your paper, throw it away
Everything is useless, ain't got a lot to say
Major, this is your way
The Major is drowning  'cause he opened his mouth
He starts to explain it but nothing's coming out
Major, what can you say?

Hope that you like who you are
'Cause living alone in a jar never gets you very far

He can read your mind, make you feel alright
Sgt. Major knows what you want
He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star
Yeah, the Major knows what you want

I know you think that you made it
I know what I'm meant to say
But while you looked in the mirror I was getting away
To you there is nothing to say

He can read your mind, make you feel alright
Sgt. Major knows what you want
He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star
Yeah, the Major knows what you want