Oh I had a horse and his name was Bill
And when he ran he couldn't stand still
He ran away one day
And also I ran with him

He ran so fast he could not stop
He ran into a barber shop
Fell exhaustionized - with his eye teeth -
In the barber's left shoulder

I had a gal and her name was Daisy
And when she sang the cat went crazy
With deliriums - St. Vituses -
And all kinds of cataleptics

One day she sang a song about
A man who turned himself inside out
And jumped into the river
He was so very sleepy

I'm going out in the woods next year
And shoot for beer and not for deer
Well I am, well I ain't
I'm a great sharpshootress

At shooting birds I am a beaut
There is no bird I cannot shoot
In the eye, in the ear, in the teeth
And in the fingers

I went up in a balloon so big
The people on earth looked like a pig
Like a mouse, like a caddydid
Like flyses and like fleases

The balloon had turned up with its bottom side high
Fell on the wife of a country squire
She made a noise like a doghound, like a steam whistle
And like dynamite

What, could you do in a case like that
What can you do but stamp on your hat
Or on your mother, on your toothbrush
And on everything that's helpless